So Yeah

There was this one time that Megan and I decided to spend the weekend with her brother up in Austin, and on the way there we stopped at Fiesta Texas. 

Little did we know, San Antonio was in the middle of one of those heat wave things and it was 110 degrees outside. I got so sunburned I looked like a walking fire hydrant. 

Anyway, we had a bunch of fun but figured we should probably get going if we wanted to meet her brother in time for dinner. Neither one of us knew where she parked and the clicker on her keys wasn’t working. The only thing we remembered was that she parked next to a van from Mexico, so we started looking for that. People, there were no kidding at least a dozen Mexican vans in that parking lot. So we spent at least forty minutes dying in the Texas heat. Neither one of us was even wearing a shirt any more because they were so soaked with sweat it was like trying to carry an extra twenty pounds on our backs.

But don’t lose hope! We finally found her little gray Impala and hightailed it to a gas station so we could change clothes and maybe clean up a bit.

I guess this is kinda where I was going with this story: when we got the Shell station, we grabbed our backpacks and trudged into the bathroom. It had been so hot outside both of our deodorants melted. How crazy is that?? I had no idea that was even possible. But they were completely liquidated and all over our clothes because it had run through the caps. Neither of our outfits matched, but at least our clothes were impervious to body odor.

Kay so I’m just gonna go crawl into bed and cry now.

Oh wait I can’t because I’m stuck overseas in a foreign country where I share a room with my jackass brother and “depression isn’t a real thing so get over it”. 

Guess I’m just gonna go put on a smile and socialize instead.

I Miss Dan

Usually I just miss him because we’re so far apart and can’t physically be together hardly ever. It kinda sucks not being able to give somebody a great big hug whenever you want to, but it’s really not that bad because we talk to each other pretty much 24/7. 

And lately I’ve also been missing him a lot more, too, because now we’re in very different countries with very different time zones. The only chances we get to talk for even a little bit are the moments before one of us goes to bed or just as one of us is waking up. That also kinda sucks because halfway through the day I just really really want to talk to him. Like, just to say hi even. That would be cool. But I can’t. And that makes me feel very lonely and anxious to get home as soon as humanly possible.

But now I miss him in a completely non-selfish way, too. I hate hearing that he hasn’t had a good day or that he’s not feeling great about life because there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. That just kills me. I only ever want him to be okay and to do everything possible to make sure he’s happy. But now I’m stuck overseas and I can’t even listen to him vent about his day or distract him or whatever. When he’s depressed, I’m entirely useless. That’s terrible. He should never have to feel that way, but I can’t be there for him when he needs me.

“Now this room has funk shui.”

-My mom, as she hangs a tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix poster on the wall.

“I am the dadliest Dad ever. If our family had a reality tv show about me, it’d be called ‘Dadliest Catch.’” 

-my father, the wittiest man alive.

Fatherly Wisdom

“Cigars are a lot like Skittles…people either like them or they don’t, and I love both.”

I’ve noticed that a lot of the packaged food here in Singapore doesn’t have nutrition facts or serving sizes on them, which means one thing and one thing only:

I can eat as much as I want and not feel self-conscious about it. 

There goes my diet and ergo my figure.

My 15-year-old brother just sat down next to me and the smell is intoxicating. There are at least three different brands of the most incredibly potent body spray known to man just kind of swimming around him in a swirling cloud of conflicting aromas.

It’s taking all of my willpower to just remain in the same room as him without gagging too conspicuously. 

Anonymous asked: damn youre stunningg

Oh stop; you’re making me blush.

Thank you though!

Anonymous asked: I guess I unblocked you... theres my good deed for the day. Im only asking anonymously because its an option. =P All the popeyes chicken in the world wouldnt be half as good as spending a day with you. I love you. ok bye!

I’ve decided that the best part about tequila shots was just having an excuse to consume salt all by itself in public.